11 December 2008 - Winneway, Qc, Canada. Eva, now 39, breaks the silence which has corroded her life for 20 years. Raped by a member of her surrounding when she was 17 years old, she had a life of selfdestruction until a few months ago. By breaking the silence, she hopes to protect her 4 daughters from that drama.

Text and Photos Marc-André Pauzé

Whereas we are witnesses of the slow disintegration of the Amer-Indian communities, marked by a very high infant mortality, a chronic unemployment and self-destroying violence, some portions of hope appears on the horizon.

Photojournalist and nurse specialized in backcountry medecine, Marc-Andre Pauzé will report from various canadians indigenous communities in a in-depth documentary, searching signs of hope.

This feature, the first in a series, is an extract from an article of 3000 words (in french).

When we meet her in the village, we couldn’t help notice her big smile. Every conversation turned into a joke and she bursts out laughing. But Eva is carrying a big load.

Eva is a 39 year old Algonquin woman, member of the Anishnabe people. She lives in a small Amer-Indian community of 250 people, in north-west Quebec, Canada. She has decided to talk after 20 years of silence, turning her anger to herself. She is telling her daughters what happen to her when she was 17.

«Somebody close to me raped me. In pain and shame, I left my village. I go back there, very seldom, she tells.

Eva had lived a life of pain in the years that followed. Drugs, alcohol and periods of depression almost killed her. But in the last year, she tried to get a grip on her life.

«Even though life is a pain, I have four daughters. Speaking of what I have been through, I hope they will avoid these sufferings.»

Eva, bursting into tears after talking to her daughters, is being comforted by one of them.

Eva is not alone in this situation. Statistics from Health Canada says that 29% of the women living in first nations reserve or settlement, once were victims of sexual violence. But the Aboriginal Psychosocial Interventions Reserch Group says a rate from 50 to 80% is more realistic in their final report on Sexual Abuse in First Nations communities of Quebec Province.

Cultural and values loss, poverty, unemployment, breaking in tradition, lost of traditional language, use of drugs and alcohol, are among social issues that are the foundation of violence in native community.

Elizabeth Makimoot, 78, live alone in her house. Speaking only her native language, she feels lonely. Very few of the younger generation still speaks Anishnabe language, creating a gap with the elders and contribute to loss of traditional values where women were respected. First Nation People believed that women share the same spirits that Mother Earth.

But very few women talk. Eva and a few others started to talk in their healing process, but also to break the cycle and protect younger generation.

Another one is Rosalyn Mathias. Now 60 years old, her healing process is still going on after 20 years.

«Like many others, I was a broken spirit. But as I share my story, I am feeling stronger and free, even if I still have moments of doubts and pain.»

Finding herself pregnant at 17 after many rapes from a man in her community, she was so afraid of talking to her parents. A few weeks later, she moved away from the family camp, got an abortion, alone in the forest… Wiping her tears, she buried the foetus and returned to the tent. It was in July 1965.

«I carried that secret for 30 years. For all those years, I suffered in silence. Lost, I tried to forget in alcohol and drugs. At 45, I encounter him and looked straight into his eyes, and said: Do you remember what you did to me when I was 15? He was looking at the floor when I told him to look at me. From that moment, I began my healing process, and quit consuming.»

Many years later, after the man’s death, she learned that he did the same thing to her daughter.

However, through the ancient time, it was not thus for first nation women. The various Amer-Indian communities believed that, as women had the capacity to give birth, they shared the same spirit as «Our Mother Earth» and were venerated for this reason.

But with the sedentarisation, the presence of the Catholic church, government pressure and residential schools, Algonquins have lived for 100 years in confrontation with changes. In Winneway, Eva’s and Rosalyn village, elders don’t believe in traditional religion. Some women, in their healing process, are looking for their cultural roots and have to find help and support in their Ojibway cousins living in Ontario.

In the Winneway cemetery, all of the tombs are marked by catholic signs. But one of them has a subtle sign of the past. A sweet grass braid. Loss of traditional values is a important factor in the violence increase, says Alphonse Rodgers.

Finding himself lost when too long in the village, he spends more and more time in its hunting camp. There, he lives peacefully. “This life makes more sens to me”. He tried to initiate younger generations to this life, but they were not interested and wanted to get back to their TV set and drink with friends.

Simard Lake, Qc, Canada. Alphonse Rodgers, an Algonquin from the Long Point First Nation Band, rest in his hunting cabin after dinner. He says that life in the village is difficult because of all the traditional loss.

According to the NGO, “Quebec Native Women”, social inequalities caused by colonization and the “Indians Law”, generate violence and the dependence of the woman towards her spouse. Several of the provisions of the “Indians Law¨ (1985)” are discriminatory towards women, making it difficult the use of matrimonial house in situations of marital violence. So native women victim of violence have two choices, leave the matrimonial house without their children or stay. But when they choose to stay, often they will not talk and declare act of violence by fear the social services take their children away due to violence exposure.

Due to these administrative provisions and many others, first nation women must count mostly on themselves to undertake the healing process. That is what Rosalyn and Eva did.

For Rosalyn, healing went with going back to her roots. Contact with her culture started by going back in the bush. On one of these outings, she found the place where she aborted, 43 years earlier. A tree grew at the exact spot. A few weeks later, she returns to do a ceremony and close the circle with that event. As she get there, she gather cedar leaves and makes a circle around the tree.

Then, crush by emotions, she takes a moment to hug the tree and talk to her lost child. Or maybe to her lost childhood.

Then she gets up, look to the sky and smile.

 

No photo attachments may be copied or retransmitted via any means without the prior permission of Marc-André Pauzé. All photographs remain the property of the photographer and are protected under International copyright laws. © Marc-André Pauzé /αR

Update: Eva Moushoom 1969-2009

Eva Moushoom 1969 - 2009. Anishnabe Long Point First Nation - Photo © Marc-André Pauzé/αR - All Rights Reserved

Every conversation turned into a joke and she bursts out laughing. But she had reasons to cry. She wanted to talk to ease the pain, to stop the violence cycle and to protect her daughters.

A few days ago, she returned in her community for a funeral. Some people had seen her testimony in the report “Waseskun, the law of silence starting to weaken.” She received congratulations for her courage. She said that she haven’t done anything. It was a “friend” journalist that interviewed her.

The last time I saw her, in May, she told me how important breaking the silence was for her.

She did speak for every natives women that suffer in silence.

If only we would have other solutions than “white people” solutions.

If only we would laugh with them.

If only we were ready to listen.

Minawag kika wamin Eva (see you later Eva)